I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I had to cum in my sink.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
