He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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