On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
