I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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