He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
True college students do jello shots in the library
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
