And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
