nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
