All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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