tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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