the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
