I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
well you can't waste a boner
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
