Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
