I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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