im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
