First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
