My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
