uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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