stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
