sarcasm needs its own font
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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