hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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