i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
