I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
