girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize