We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
