I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
