Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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