I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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