My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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