He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Congratulations! We have a period
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