I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
