well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
