just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
