Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
