the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
