Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
