Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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