There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
