It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
