kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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