Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
