If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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