i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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