I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize