I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize