She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
