is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
