shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
