Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you will always have a special place in my vag
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
