Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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