So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
