Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
