just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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