So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
