I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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