One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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