***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
