I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
