hotel room ftw
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
