Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
