Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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