You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
