It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
