so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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