i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
my liver is dry heaving
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
