so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
