operation have a gay friend backfired
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize