I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
