Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
