A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize