That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
