Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
