You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It all started with a game of naked twister.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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