so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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