I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
