Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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