I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
