Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
