hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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