The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
