He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
