better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
